Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Trump Orange Chicken

I throw my whisk into the political arena with a recipe that is both delicious and revolting: Trump Orange Chicken. If it's not obvious to you, the delish part is Orange Chicken, while the 2016 Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, is the latter.

Now that the buffoon has buffaloed the conservative populace, and belittled the other Republican presidential has-beens off the political stage, it's down to big cheese-tinted Trump. So in anticipation of the future tweeting Troll-in-Chief's Inauguration Day, I've come up with a tasty entree to serve for his first White House meal: Trump Orange Chicken.

Since The Donald is getting rhetorically tough on China, I thought an Asian inspired entree appropriate. For the future Bully Of The Free World orange is the new white, especially when he has the coloring of a carrot.

The main ingredients are cheap to get these days. First, chicken is perfect for a tough-talking Cheeto-in-Chief, as it symbolizes his cowardice: getting 5 draft deferments to stay out of the Vietnam War during its apex, even after being a decorated cadet from the New York Military Academy.

This is the same guy who said, reacting to criticism from Senator John McCain (a tortured Vietnam War prisoner,) "He's not a war hero...I like people that weren't captured, okay?"

Boy, I can't wait to see him salute the troops off, as he sends them to win the war on terrorism. Here's his cowardly statement that you can see for yourself.

Video runs 1 minute, 4 seconds.

When I get skinless and boneless chicken from my local Latin grocery store, I don't stop to wonder if it was prepared along the way by Mexican rapists and drug dealers, as xenophobe Trump would have it. And I didn't climb over or dig under a wall to get budget poultry. If you have an ethnic market in the neighborhood, do visit it sometime, and don't be frightened away by Trump's race baiting. Welcoming a mosaic of world cultures makes America truly great.

Fresh squeezed orange juice is the basis of my Orange Sauce recipe. But you can use any favorite grocery store frozen juice. After Trump's tan is freshly applied, I wonder if he perspires in orange? A disgusting thought, but not as deplorable as Trump's comments about women.

Click on any photo to see larger.

POTUS wannbe Trump once ran his own meat market, the Miss Universe pageant, and had the chutzpah to use it as a reference of his international diplomatic prowess to deal with Russian President Vladimir Putin - God, what a putz. And just as disgraceful was watching the RNC and Fox (fake) News kingmakers applying lipstick on a chauvinist pig.

Having run a beauty pageant makes the possible Fake-Tan-In-Chief a great judge of a woman's worth - like the time he referred to fellow Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina in a Rolling Stone magazine interview: "Look at that face," he said. "Would anyone vote for that?" And adding "Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?" Yep, that's the Donald at his slimy best. Elect this childish potty mouth and we'll soon learn how he rates all the female world leaders he will negotiate with.

Video runs 54 seconds.

This is a fried chicken recipe so a lot of cooking oil is needed. But you'll drain the fried chicken, so it's not too bad. But for something really oily, look no further than the business dealing of a mogul born with a gold plated pacifier stuffed between his puckered lips. Nothing like starting out in life with a Daddy Warbucks to fill in life's potholes and financially clean up your early failures.

For every Trump self-aggrandizing business success, there's a trail of stiffed contractors, tax dodges and bankruptcies, like the Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City. Hey, you win a few and lose a few, can't knock the guy for trying...except when the United States economy is on the chopping block with Trump wielding the butcher's knife.

My Trump Orange Chicken fillets are cut into bite sizes and crunchy coated. But what brings them over the top is a homemade sticky sweet Orange Sauce.

The Republican party is lapping up the sickly-sweet orange poison Kool-Aide Trump ladles out. Like his coifed comb over in a political windstorm, Trump adjusts his views in any direction. Future Egomanic-in-Chief  Donald Trump is a con artist, and only entered the presidential race to publicize the Trump brand. And the Republican Party has fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.

One year he's supports abortion, now he wants to punish women who get one; he supported the Iraq war at first, now is against it; once he suggested a ban on assault rifles before becoming another lapdog of the NRA.

And one of his biggest flip flops? Straight from the jackass's, I mean horse's mouth, here's Trump's praise of Democrats, and his support of  Hillary Clinton as a diplomat. Just check out the interview video:

Video runs 1 minute, 55 seconds.

However much you may disagree (or tire) with my ranting, you can't deny my Trump Orange Chicken is a qualified success, both in flavor and appearance.

This recipe is for both political parties, and even independents can join in. So make the right choice this election year and serve my latest bipartisan recipe. Your dining guests will surely give you the "V" for victory salute!

Orange is the new white.

  • 4 pieces of chicken - boneless and skinless. I used 2 thighs and legs. Okay to use a whole chicken breast.
  • Salt and pepper to taste - optional. Soy sauce has plenty of salt for me.
  • Oil for frying - about 1/2 deep in a frying pan.

Frying Batter
  • 1 egg
  • 3/4 cup flour
  • 1/4 cup cornstarch
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 cup water - start with 1/4 cup of water. Stir, then add a tablespoon at a time, to reach a pancake batter consistency. Total amount of water is about 1/2 cup.

Orange Sauce

  • 3/4 cup orange juice - fresh squeezed or bottled.
  • 1/2 teaspoon orange zest - optional
  • 1 tablespoon soy sauce
  • 1 teaspoon honey - or favorite sweetener
  • 1 teaspoon vinegar - I used apple cider.
  • 2 tablespoons cornstarch - to thicken sauce. Use one tablespoon cornstarch for a thinner sauce.
  • 1 teaspoon ginger - optional.  Fresh chopped or from jar.

Directions for Orange Sauce

Orange zest is pungent. Use a grater to remove some orange peel. It can be grated or just peeled. Try not to include the white bitter pith, just below the bright orange peel. This is optional.

Over a medium heat, add all orange sauce ingredients to a pot. Add orange zest. Mix well.

Click on any photo to see larger.

Finally mix in cornstarch. Make sure to stir and dissolve cornstarch.

Bring sauce up to a low simmer. Reduce sauce to low heat. Sauce will thicken as you cook up the chicken pieces. Sauce should only take 3-5 minutes to thicken. Add a little water if sauce gets too thick, like jam.

Okay to turn off sauce heat, then reheat when ready to mix with finished fried chicken.

Directions for chicken batter and frying

Prepare chicken if necessary. I used skinless and boneless dark meat. All I had to do was slice chicken pieces into bite sizes.

Mix dry ingredients in a wide bowl. Slowly stir in water and mix with dry ingredients until a pancake-like batter is formed.

Heat 1/2 inch of oil in a wide frying pan. Use a medium heat. Get the oil hot, to about 300 degrees. I don't use a thermometer, as my gas stove temp settings are close enough.

When oil is hot time to fry the chicken. First set out the chicken pieces and dip them in batter. Add coated chicken pieces to hot oil.

Mainly, you want the coated chicken to bubble when in contact with hot oil. Be careful when adding the first piece of wet coated chicken to hot oil.

When chicken is added to pan, it's best not to move chicken pieces around - just let them cook for 3-5 minutes each side. When you see browning along the edges of chicken then it's fine to check for a golden color.

Check thickest chicken piece for doneness. Just remove a piece and slice into it. There should be not red or pink juices. Dark meat takes longer than white meat to cook through. Cooking time will vary depending how hot the oil is and how thick you slice the chicken pieces.

Place fried chicken on a wire rack or paper towels to drain off some oil.

Reheat Orange Sauce if necessary. Place cooked chicken in a bowl and pour in the Orange Sauce to coat chicken. Lightly mix. Okay to just pour on Orange Sauce over chicken when you serve it, too.

You can serve Trump Orange Chicken over white or brown rice, or with a favorite side dish.



B-School Schmuck said...

Wow, that was an incredibly stupid post. I had no idea you were such a tool.

Cris said...

This post is hilarious and well needed. If that guy manages to win after his foul mouth, not sure what country moving to! haha Cheers 99cent chef. Always enjoy your recipes.

Sandy Shoop said...

I love your recipes! Have been following them for quite a while!
It sure is a good thing that you can cook, because if you are a follower of the progressive/socialist George Soros and the murdering traitor Hillary, you will undoubtedly be wearing a burka before long, and shariah law will be in your future.
I will pray for you.
TRUMP 2016! He is the dragon slayer who will put an end to the corruption going on in D.C. and FINALLY bring some class to the White House.
Not too smart on your part to ruin your recipe blog with politics...

yardsailor said...

How can there be no comments, I loved your Trump saga, lately I have been controlling myself on Facebook, I will not post an anti trump meme if it shows his gross countenance, I had become a serious Trump Dumper, I am now in control again, trying to anyway. Keep up the Trump bashing, even if only sane people are reading it.

Louise said...

Great humor. I can't wait to try the recipe too. Cheers! Louise

Billy Vasquez said...

hi Louise, it's actually tasty, even with the nauseating recipe name ;-p

Billy Vasquez said...

hey B-School Smuck, you the fool. My post lays it all out with Trump's own hypocritical, deplorable and bulling words in the video clips - there's really nothing more to add, just listen and try to actually fathom the con he pulled on you and the rest of the Republican party, couldn't be more clear ;-p

Billy Vasquez said...

Well, Sandy my dear, no need to pray for me, just pray for yourself that the fog of conspiracy theories, paranoia and hate that you are lost in will clear one day - best to stay away from Fox "fake" News and other conservative hate websites, for your own peace of mind.

If you disliked my political tinged post then please don't read my recipe for "Tea Party Chicken Soup," where I throw my weight behind Obamacare -- your head may explode ;-p

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...