Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Halloween Recipes - Creepy Kool

Gory Halloween warning! Time to get squeamish with the Ghoulish Gourmet's creepy imagery of raw meat and viscera. I'm about to get medieval for Halloween and the following Dia del los Muertos or Day of the Dead.

This Sinister Cheap$kate's ghastly recipes are laid out like a bloody scene from a Stephen King and Edgar Allen Poe story. Once you've digested this macabre blog post, your taste buds may nevermore be the same.

And if you're a vegetarian, avert your gaze! Or peak through hand-covered eyes to read my queasy prose. I'm sure to be on Morrissey's #hit list if he ever sees this - he's pop music's most morose vegan. (And I'm a big fan of his songs with The Smiths.)

Some of my most spooky recipes may make your skin crawl, while others will have your taste buds baying at the moon with pleasure, mouthful after mouthful.

Witches Brew - a bubbling cauldron of Pozole.

So read on, and don't forget to click on any recipe name that will bring you kicking and screaming to my original blog post to see all the hair-raising details -- presented with gory gifs, bloodcurdling photos, grisly videos, and eerie text.

Right off the bat, I like my Chupacabra Carne Asada steak and hamburgers medium-rare. Oozing is fine by me - E. coli be damned!

Grilling meat supercharges the flavor and brings out the knuckle-dragging Neanderthal in this Paleo Chef.

The Terminator T-bone

Raw bloody carcasses of meat have been disturbingly depicted in fine art. Rembrandt van Rijn is primarily known as a Dutch painter of moody portraits during the 17th Century, and I am especially influenced by his "Carcass of Beef" (flayed ox) study - just check out the audacious composition with gory details.

And here's the British artist Francis Bacon's 20th Century version, below.

The Chiaroscuro Chef photographs flesh against dark backgrounds lately (shot on a blackened cookie sheet) - usually lit from a single direction, with deep shadows, very much inspired by Caravaggio. An artfully dark and forbidding example is my recipe for Pasta alla Genovese, where I slice and dice cheap beef shank, slaughterous enough to make a zombie weep.

Offal is not so awful to this Carrion Chef. After watching a classic horror flick on the big screen, I cruise LA's fog-shrouded boulevards and alleyways during the midnight hour looking for ways to quell my ravenous appetites...for tacos, that is! 

Buche (stomach,) lengua (tongue,) and tripas (intestines) are on the menu at sidewalk taquerias and taco trucks throughout Los Angeles. Watch the shuddersome viscera-splattered video below to see what stops me in my tracks.

On a sweeter note, while not meat, the gooey insides of a Halloween special edition Oreo cookie are like sweetened bone marrow. You don't smash it to get to the finger-licking orange frosting, a simple twist will do.

Get your hands dirty knawing on my Rosemary's Baby Back RibsYou'll need extra napkins to soak up the BBQ sauce smeared on your lips and dripping from your fingertips.

My Silence of the Lambs Curry is creepy-delicious. And my video cooking directions are as easy to follow as leading a lamb to the slaughter.

It can get messy cooking with meat. You have to have an iron stomach. Try breaking down a pork shoulder sometimes, like I do below for my ghastly Texas Chainsaw Carnitas video recipe.

It's probably the most artistically nauseating footage I've ever shot - but, boy does it taste heavenly when you cradle a stuffed tortilla, plump with citrus and cola-marinated, slow-cooked pork.

Ground chicken and turkey are mushy and wet, more so than ground beef or pork...ugh.

Check out my ground poultry The Blob Patty Melt video to see what I mean -- yuk!

After chicken, pork is the cheapest flesh. When hacked, mangled, and minced into sausage, it's delicious for breakfast or added to stir fry like my Garroted Green Beans and Gruesome Ground Pork recipe below.

This may sound perverse but it's actually fun to animate with ground meat, it's like playing with Play-Doh, just greasier. Check out my video below to see the messiness.

Are you still with me? Man, are you hardcore! I'm getting extra creeped out just assembling this blog post.

Ever gut a fish? Whoa, that is one freaky task! Slice the belly open, yank out the internal organs then chop off the head -- oh, I'm feeling faint just remembering the slimy viscera and the nauseating smell - barf !!

If you want to scare the bejesus out of your dining guest, then serve them a Jaws Whole Grilled Fish - head on!

This tin-framed, bloody-looking slaughter scene comprised of tomato-sauced fat fingers of sardines is one of my most visited food blog posts. And the morbid visitors are mostly from Europe (Transylvania?) - go figure. My pasta dish, Suspiria Sardines in Tomato Sauce with Olive Oil over Pasta, is a delicious mouthful worth sinking your incisors into.

Sushi is typically made with freshly butchered raw fish. It's so artfully presented that you miss the gore that goes into each delicate slice of aquatic flesh.

Here's one of my tastefully shot Sushi recipe videos, the simply presented, Mothra Tuna Sushi.

Shrimp would not seem spooky, right? But, buy head-on jumbo shrimp and try beheading, peeling, and removing the digestive tract/backbone sometimes...yuck! But, man are they delicious when my Mom serves them up in her Stephen King Shrimp & Rice recipe.

Halloween has a dark streak of humor and some of my recipes do, too. Take my wacky Orange Trump Chicken Nightmare on K Street....please. It's the color and shape of a pumpkin and looks like a McDonald's Chicken McNugget, just like our former Twit-in-Chief, but my entree is made with real chicken pieces, not a pink slime composite.

How about a recipe where a slice of Bride of Frankenstein Turkey Bacon swallows up a Brussels sprout like a disembodied human tongue...yikes!

I like to cook a whole chicken or leg quarters. There's nothing like the carnal pleasure of ripping apart a cooked poultry carcass and sucking every piece of succulent meat off the bones. My Tingler Chicken Tinga and Paranormal Poached Chicken are some saporous examples.

 Below is the Eviscerating Cuisinier's squishy butchering of a chicken breast and leg quarter. It's the cheapest flesh you can get and I have all kinds of poultry recipes, here.

So get out there and have an entertaining Halloween holiday. It's not all blood and guts! So, I'll leave you with an appallingly tasty ghost story.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Baseball World Series 2020 - Recipes

Batter up! And that's just the coating for my MVP Fried Chicken recipe. Are you ready for the World Series of cheap$kate eats? Just step up to the plate and allow me to pitch some tasty entrees your way, that you can serve up while viewing the Los Angeles Dodgers battle the Tampa Bay Rays for the 2020 edition of Major League Baseball's championship series.

For the clip below is a baseball term call "Nibble" with its definition, and as you round the bases of my blog posts I have sprinkled more terminology you might, or might not, know.

Nibble: to pitch along the far edges of the strike zone, around home plate.

The Penny Pinch Hitting Chef has a dugout full of recipes for baseball lovers that will leave enough green in your wallet to buy an extra keg of beer for your tailgate party. Just click on any recipe name below to see what I mean. There are no foul balls in this recipe list!

First at-bat, hot dogs are the King of the ballpark. And boy does this Knight of the Round Dinner Table have royal recipes for you to try...all hail the Winners, I mean the Weiners!!

I live in L.A. so you know who I'll be rooting for...Go Dodgers! And if you're a fan too then give my most outrageous  LA Street Dog a go. The roots are South-of-the-Border with Fajita-style grilled onion,  bell pepper, and jalapeno toppings. It's outrageously delicious, so go for it like I do in the video below.

If you're like me, game day is the time for Hot Dogs and boy are the ingredients cheap.

I don't know about you but I steam mine - you can't burn or even overcook weiners this way, especially when your team is loading up the bases and you can't pull yourself away from the TV screen.

If it's a lazy game day then hit the frozen deli case of your fave grocery store or dollar store. I've zapped frozen dogs with buns and they are pretty darn good - some days call for quick and easy, like a walk to first base!

I get a famous East Coast Nathan's Hot Dog from my local Dollar Tree, when I want an easy, microwavable, quickie munch. They do the job and I even wrote a Cheap$kate Deal of the Day you can read here.

They come naked so I dress the dogs with just mustard and sweet pickle relish, how about you?

My two fave Hot Dogs are a Kraut Dog and a Chili Dog with Relish. Check out my videos below to see how I do them. Try serving these but be careful you may pull a shoulder with the high fives your buddies give you!

Set the Table: getting runners on base, ahead of a power hitter.

Tampa Bay Rays fans will eat up my Cuban Recipes (click here to see them all) - since many Florida communities have Cuban immigrant neighborhoods. Is it ever too early for a sugarcane and rum drink? Allow the 99 Cent Mojito to get you in a World Series mood. To see the blog post with my Mojito cocktail recipe written out, just click here.
The 99 Cent Mojito -Video

Okay, maybe it's better to start with a simple bunt, my delicious Cuban Salad. All it is, is sliced avocado, tomato, onion, and radish with a tangy vinegarette of lime juice (or vinegar) and oil. 

But you may want to go for extra innings and make Cuban Roast Pork. Marinate a cheap pork shoulder with orange and lime fruit juices and sit back and let it roast until fall-apart tender. 

If you are making Cuban Roast Pork then get a few extras: sliced ham, Swiss cheese, pickles, some mustard, and small white bread rolls and let your bleacher bums make their own Cuban Sandwiches. Check out my recipe page here and see my grilled pressed sandwich technique to get the Swiss cheese all melty.

And don't forget the beans, Cuban Black Beans, that is. They really are the beans I make the most and the flavor trick is adding vinegar, sugar, and bell pepper. Hey, kick it up a notch with a pound of ground beef or turkey.

The World Series is being played in Arlington, Texas and I was born in the Lonestar State so I know Tex-Mex cuisine. You can grill any of my high school buddies about the deliciousness of my Mom's Tex-Mex Chili Enchiladasand they're bases-loaded with cheddar cheese!

High Schoolers 99 Cent Chef, Marvin & Dennis

Check out the video below to see how they slide down my buddies Homeplate gullet!

Mom's Shrimp & Rice is a one-pot meal your home team will gladly gather around.

More shrimp dishes are always good during extra innings and you won't ground out with my Mom's Shrimp, Scrambled Eggs and Jalapeño Tacos.

Smoked pork rules in the Lone Star State. My smokin' Pulled Pork recipe is easy and cheap to make, of course. Just check out the video below or click here to see all the tasty recipe details.

Texas is known for its meaty Chili. Southerners love their Chili with or without beans. While beef is expensive, I get around that by using cheap beef shank. Once you've cooked it down for a few hours, beef shank is as tender as any pricey cut. 

My Homemade Meat and Bean Chili recipe is perfect for your sports gathering and can be served during all 9 innings of the game - make plenty just in case the game goes into extra innings. I serve mine topped with shredded cheese and chopped onion.

High Cheese: A fastball that's thrown high over the plate.

I have a recipe that will rattle your batting cage tastebuds! For the battleground state of Florida, I have an appallingly delicious Trump Orange Chicken. I came up with the recipe when the Cheeto-In-Chief was running for the highest office of our nation. So step up to the plate for an egomaniacal mouthful. And don't just sit in the dugout and stare, get your vote in no matter who's side you're rooting for!!

Tired of stale, soggy stadium hot dogs? I have a great and easy Corn Dog Recipe made with Vienna sausages -- but you can use regular wieners. There will be no foul balls as your hungry guests dip these crunchy coated pig skins into my tasty honey-mustard sauce.

Since you have the fryer going you might as well make a batch of my Krispy Kreme Doughnuts. They're as light and airy as the Goodyear blimp.

Ran out of hot dog buns? Well toss a few wieners or sausages on the grill and try my version of a Currywurst. Your recipe batting average just doubled when you slather on grilled tubes steaks: my spicy mix of ketchup, cumin and cayenne spices. It's also a great starter appetizer on game day.

With Florida surrounded on three sides by water, Tampa Bay Rays revelers will eat up my riff on a Lobster Roll -- a cheaper Scallop Roll. And East Coast fans can throw another log on the fire and gather in front of the big screen with a steaming bowl of my cheap$kate Clam Chowder.

 Scallop Roll

Rhubarb: a bench-clearing baseball brawl.

Everybody loves Nachos, but no one does them like my brother from another daddy, the Swamp Chef! My Cajun Nachos are a yummy pitch right down the strike zone. Tortilla chips? - first base hit. Cheese? - second base steal. Louisiana hot sauce? - advance to third base with a sacrifice bunt. And topped with succulent crawfish tail meat? - GRAND SLAM! Okay, you can substitute an easy-to-get protein like canned beef chili or cheap small bay shrimp.

Don't get egg in your face dropping an easy fly ball of a recipe. Save the egg for my wild Quick Pizza with an Egg.

And don't forget to send in from this Whisk Welding Culinary Coach a most versatile of plated plays, the Pita Pizza -- a varied list of toppings you can use would fill the coaches chalkboard.

Pita Pizza

Next to pizza and hotdogs, Fried Chicken is a fan favorite. And I've come up with a crunchy coating that will empty the bleachers and have fans storming the kitchen! Kickoff the MLB World Series with my Fried Chicken Sandwich Recipe or use my special flour and spice mix for regular bone-in chicken parts. My mouthwatering video below is better than an inside-the-park home run.

Your boys and girls of summer will take a 7th inning stretch and huddle around your cast iron pot of my Mom's fragrant and spicy Chicken & Sausage Jambalaya and Cajun Gumbo.

Mom's Cajun Sausage and Chicken Gumbo

Serve a pitcher's mound size plate of Teriyaki Spam Musubi for your Hawaiian friends.

Spam Musubi

Or, set out shredded slow-cooked pork, chopped onion, and cilantro, with warm tortillas and your favorite salsa, for Mexican Carnitas Tacos. Your food fans will start a wave, from the living room to the kitchen table.

Can of Corn: An easy to catch high fly ball to the outfield.

Does beer go with Steamed Articokes?'ll have to try out my recipe to find out - do let me know if you try it!

If fish is on your mind then hook your bleacher bums with some of my homemade Sushi Recipes. Try tagging out a Spicy Tuna or California Roll. How about setting up a Fielder's choice of chopped veggies and fresh fish and roll your own delicious Hand Rolls? It's easier than you think, and I have simple photo-illustrated instructions a click away, here.

My Fish Tacos deserve the MVP award for deliciousness. I make mine Baja, Mexico-style, that is, battered and fried tender fish fillets with a cabbage and creme topping.

Fish Taco

While everyone's watching the pre-game show send in any of my delicious dugout sides, including: Bacon Wrapped DatesTomato & Basil BruschettaDeviled EggsPortabella Mushroom FriesSweet Fried PlantainsCeviche with Avocado and Black Beans, and Chicken Satay with Peanut Sauce.

Crack a few eggs for a meal most fowl, not foul -- click here to see my Veggie Frittata recipe that will feed all your hungry team players (add some ham pieces to fill out the frittata.)

Dying Quail: a fly ball weakly hit, that lands in between the infield and the outfield.

There will be no need for rain checks when you serve a sandwich plate of gooey, cheesy Patty Melts, hearty Meatball Subs, Homemade Deli PastramiFalafel Pitas, and steaming Sloppy Joe's.

If you're looking for instant pot and crockpot meals don't miss any action on the field of dreams, just check out my Pork BourguignonFrench CassouletChicken Tinga Stew,  Mr. Patti's Red Beans & RiceBaked Pasta with Cheese and CauliflowerBaked Lasagna with Ground ChickenShepherd's Pie, or Sausage & Sauerkraut with Beer recipes.

Baked Lasagna with Ground Chicken

How about a relief pitching recipe? It's a different twist on Buffalo Wings an African Spiced Water Buffalo Wings!! This original recipe features chicken legs, but you can substitute wings.

So dig deep into my bullpen and click on any of the tasty treat names above to watch an instant reply of recipes from my blog. Your guest will be cheering you on -- from their cheap seats!

I'll leave you with my wacky video below, where I swing at all types of produce...and knock them out of the ballpark!

Batter Up!

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