Queerier than QAnon, dippier than the Deep State, and more slipshod thanStop the Steal, my conspiracy theory Trumps 'em all, and it's 99.99% accurate like all the rest of fake news. The knuckleheaded 99c News Team had dug deep and uncovered the Greatest Conspiracy Theory of All Time.
As usual, it's the .01% that are the real troublemakers. The question is what side of the fringe are you?
I seldom get political, but I couldn't resist the headlines of the last couple of weeks. You may want to stop here if you are a Trump fan because I can't help but pull his chain a bit in my satirical blog post that follows. But I do try stirring in food humor -- sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
Breakfast in America - coffee, whole-grain toast with lingonberry jam, egg & shiitake mushroom scramble, and sweet potato.
The first Prime Minister of America- Boris Johnson?
Think about it: England has been waiting for over 225 years to reclaim the colonies, and thanks to their presidential plant, Donald J. Trump, they have finally won. Trump was brainwashed by Hollywood British Producers (aka Secret Service MI6) during his The Apprentice years!
You see, the United Kingdom wanted someone divisive like Trump to put one political party in the driver's seat of government, so Donald J. Trump really did Make American Great Again...for Merrie Old Englande, that is.
Five years ago it was a cyber-invasion by the Russians -- for this Election, the British are Coming in disguise...for us!
Of course, Democrats keeping control of the House of Representativeswas a forgone conclusion, but with Trump in charge, he gave the Dems the Senate too!
And he quashed the Republican's final stab at sabotaging the Electoral Collegeby sending in the clowns or disguised British Insurgents, to lay waste to parts of the Capitol Buildingin their final gleeful insult to our Republic, just like British soldiers did in August of 1814 when they looted and burned the White House to the ground.
And, the result of the Capitol insurrection was that the Electoral College Count was completed in less than 24 hours, thanks to Benedict Arnold Trump -- God Save the Queen!
President Trump = Benedict Arnold
So stay tuned and watch President-Elect Joe Biden with VP Kamala Harris steer the ship of state right into the arms of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Boris Johnson...you'll see.
And once Britannia rules America will the Big Mac be forced to come topped with Beans?
This treasonist pillage of America's greatest fast-food burger will not stand!
I throw my whisk into the political arena with a recipe that is both delicious and revolting: Trump Orange Chicken. If it's not obvious to you, the delish part is Orange Chicken, while the 2016 Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump, is the latter.
Now that the buffoon has buffaloed the conservative populace, and belittled the other Republican presidential has-beens off the political stage, it's down to Cheddar Cheese-tinted Trump. So in anticipation of the future tweeting Troll-in-Chief's Inauguration Day, I've come up with a tasty entree to serve for his first White House meal: Trump Orange Chicken.
Since many Trump-branded products is made in foreign countries like China, I thought an Asian-inspired entree appropriate. For the future Bully Of The Free World orange is the new white, especially when he has the coloring of a slice of American cheese.
These days, the main ingredients are cheap. First, chicken is perfect for a tough-talking Cheeto-in-Chief, as it symbolizes his cowardice: getting 5 draft deferments to stay out of the Vietnam War during its apex, even after being a decorated cadet from the New York Military Academy.
This is the same guy who said, reacting to criticism from Senator John McCain (a tortured Vietnam War prisoner,) "He's not a war hero...I like people that weren't captured, okay?"
Boy, I can't wait to see him salute the troops off, as he sends them to win the war on terrorism. Here's his cowardly statement that you can see for yourself.
Video runs 2 minutes.
When I get skinless and boneless chicken from my local Latin grocery store, I don't stop to wonder if it was packaged by Mexican rapists and drug dealers, as xenophobe Trump would have it. And I didn't climb over or dig under a wall to get my budget poultry. If you have an ethnic market in the neighborhood, do visit it sometime, and don't be frightened away by Trump's race-baiting. Welcoming a mosaic of world cultures makes America truly great.
Fresh squeezed orange juice is the basis of my Orange Sauce recipe. But you can use any favorite grocery store frozen juice. After Trump's tan is freshly applied, I wonder if he perspires in orange? A disgusting thought, but not as deplorable as Trump's comments about women.
Having run a beauty pageant makes the possible Fake-Tan-In-Chief a great judge of a woman's worth - like the time he referred to fellow Republican presidential candidate Carly Fiorina in a Rolling Stone magazine interview: "Look at that face," he said. "Would anyone vote for that?" And adding "Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?" Yep, that's the Donald at his slimy best. Elect this childish potty mouth and we'll soon learn how he rates all the female world leaders he will have to negotiate with.
Video runs 54 seconds.
This is a fried chicken recipe so a lot of cooking oil is needed. But you'll drain the fried chicken, so it's not too bad. But for something really oily, look no further than the business dealing of a mogul born with a gold-plated pacifier stuffed between his puckered lips. Nothing like starting out in life with a Daddy Warbucks to fill in life's potholes and financially clean up your early failures.
My Trump Orange Chicken fillets are cut into bite sizes and crunchy coated. But what brings them over-the-top is a homemade sticky sweet Orange Sauce.
The Republican party is lapping up the sickly-sweet orange poison Kool-Aide Hued Trump ladles out. Like his coifed comb-over in a political windstorm, Trump adjusts his views in any direction. Future Egomaniac-in-Chief Donald Trump is a morally corrupt billionaire con artist and only entered the presidential race to publicize the Trump brand. And the Republican Party has fallen for it hook, line, and sinker.
And one of his biggest flip-flops? Straight from the jackass's, I mean horse's, mouth here's Trump's praise of Democrats and his support of Hillary Clinton as a diplomat. Just check out the interview video:
Adding the President of the United States to his resume will line the Trump brand's pockets with speaking fees, Fox News commentator status, and create a gusher of Trump media hogwash. Ugh, now we have Donald Trump's toxic progeny, and cheated upon ex-wives, all over social media.
However much you may disagree (or tire) with my ranting, you can't deny the Filibustering Chef's latest entree, Trump Orange Chicken, is a ballot box stuffing success, both in flavor and appearance.
This recipe is for both political parties, and even independents can join in. So make the right choice this election year and serve my latest bipartisan recipe. Your dining guests will surely give you a landslide of compliments!
Orange is the new white.
Ingredients
4 pieces of chicken - boneless and skinless. I used 2 thighs and legs. Okay to use a whole chicken breast.
Salt and pepper to taste - optional. Soy sauce has plenty of salt for me.
Oil for frying - about 1/2 deep in a frying pan.
Frying Batter
1 egg
3/4 cup flour
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 cup water - start with 1/4 cup of water. Stir, then add a tablespoon at a time, to reach a pancake batter consistency. Total amount of water is about 1/2 cup.
Orange Sauce
3/4 cup orange juice - freshly squeezed or bottled.
1/2 teaspoon orange zest - optional
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon honey - or your favorite sweetener
1 teaspoon vinegar - I used apple cider.
2 tablespoons cornstarch - to thicken sauce. Use one tablespoon of cornstarch for a thinner sauce.
1 teaspoon ginger - optional. Fresh chopped or from a jar.
Directions for Orange Sauce
Orange zest is pungent. Use a grater to remove some orange peel. It can be grated or just peeled. Try not to include the white bitter pith, just below the bright orange peel. This is optional.
Over medium heat, add all orange sauce ingredients to a pot. Add orange zest. Mix well.
Click on any photo to see larger.
Finally, mix in cornstarch. Make sure to stir and dissolve cornstarch.
Bring the sauce up to a low simmer. Reduce the sauce to low heat. The sauce will thicken as you cook up the chicken pieces. The sauce should only take 3-5 minutes to thicken. Add a little water if the sauce gets too thick, like jam.
Okay to turn off the sauce heat, then reheat when ready to mix with the finished fried chicken. Directions for chicken batter and frying
Prepare chicken if necessary. I used skinless and boneless dark meat. All I had to do was slice chicken pieces into bite sizes.
Mix dry ingredients in a wide bowl. Slowly stir in water and mix with dry ingredients until a pancake-like batter is formed.
Heat 1/2 inch of oil in a wide frying pan. Use medium heat. Get the oil hot, to about 300 degrees. I don't use a thermometer, as my gas stove temp settings are close enough.
When oil is hot, time to fry the chicken. First set out the chicken pieces and dip them in the batter. Add coated chicken pieces to hot oil.
Mainly, you want the coated chicken to bubble when in contact with hot oil. Be careful when adding the first piece of wet-coated chicken to hot oil.
When chicken is added to the pan, it's best not to move chicken pieces around - just let them cook for 3-5 minutes each side. When you see browning along the edges of chicken then it's fine to check for a golden color.
Check the thickest chicken piece for doneness. Just remove a piece and slice into it. There should be no red or pink juices. Dark meat takes longer than white meat to cook through. Cooking time will vary depending on how hot the oil is and how thick you slice the chicken pieces.
Place fried chicken on a wire rack or paper towels to drain off some oil.
Reheat the Orange Sauce if necessary. Place cooked chicken in a bowl and pour in the Orange Sauce to coat the chicken. Lightly mix. Okay to just pour on Orange Sauce over chicken when you serve it, too.
You can serve Trump Orange Chicken over white or brown rice, or with a favorite side dish.
